Why do people feel they can make sweeping assertions about other people's experiences like this? You don't know anything about the lives of the billions of childless people out there. Many of us have livestyles that wouldn't be possible if we had children, and our "moments without kids" are totally, incomparably different from your moments without kids.

The smugness of people with kids is just annoying.

> The smugness of people with kids is just annoying.

The ability of people without kids to have a firm belief on how they’d feel with or without them is also astonishing.

I doubt people with kids are smug about it. It’s just been life changing for them, and to some extend they must regret that other people will never get to experience that, especially if they were initially hesitant too.

Anyway, fully agree it makes you appreciate your time more. I enjoy adjusting the flow of time to school age again, even if it’s not my own.

> The ability of people without kids to have a firm belief on how they’d feel with or without them is also astonishing.

First he tells me how I feel, now you're telling me what I believe?

I don't know how I'd feel if I had kids. What I do know is that I "fully appreciate my moments without kids".

If a non-parent told you that you can't truly enjoy your free time because you have kids, wouldn't that be a bit rude?

> If a non-parent told you that you can't truly enjoy your free time because you have kids, wouldn't that be a bit rude?

Nah, I’d nod my head and agree, but I imagine that’s not the point you were going for xD

I feel it’s like growing up, it’s hard to appreciate childhood, or university, or any of that until it’s passed.

By the same token you start to appreciate the seas of time you had without children once you have them, but by then it’s too late of course, and you can only appreciate them in hindsight.

I’m sure the same thing will be true after my children grow up. I’ll appreciate all the time I got to spend with them more in hindsight.

We have drastically different life experiences.

In general I appreciate things a lot more in the moment than in retrospect. And I'm much happier now than I was as a child or a university student--the thing I appreciate most about those times is that they're over.

And look, it's fine we have different experiences--I'm not here to invalidate your experience. But when people say stuff like "You cannot fully appreciate your moments without kids until you have kids though" you're invalidating my experiences. That's total bullshit--you don't know anything about my life and whether or not I truly appreciate it.

If you want to talk about your experiences, that's cool, and I'm actually even interested to hear them. But don't pretend like your experience is some universal truth. It's not.

People with kids have also been people without kids at some point in their life. So I'd guess they know both perspectives.

I didn't read their comment as smugness.

Maybe I should be smugger about myself having kids, but it was really meant as nothing else as a lightheaded remark. From my own perspective of course - there is clearly my (nick)name over it.

Sure, and if it was just your comment it wouldn't annoy me. But these sorts of comments about non-parents from parents are constant. I totally parents that they enjoy having kids--why is it so implausible to parents that I can equally enjoy not having kids?

I can relate. Sometimes they are pure abomination.

Lighthearted. I meant to write "lighthearted". Anyway.

They know two perspectives. Both from their own point of view.

This is stated as if the only way for someone to experience kids is to have their own.

I didn't need to have my own kids to appreciate the peace of not having them (although at some point I do still intend to have kids, just not soon). I just had to frequently babysit my niece and nephew.

Nowadays I visit them only for a few days every few weeks and even then it's blatantly obvious that kids would mean a sharp drop in my ability to have as many different projects and hobbies as I do right now, for at least 5-10 years. Makes me really appreicate my moments without kids, as much as I also appreciate being able to see my niece and nephew grow and develop into their own selves.

It seems tragic to me that you had to procreate to appreciate your time on earth. I am grateful and thankful for every moment. Life is full of wonder to me without the burden of children.

It appears you're grossly misinterpreting his statement. When you have children, you treasure alone time _that much more_. That's his meaning.

It isn't some desperate plea like you're implying.

Appreciation has a range of values. Having kids for many people is like going from black and white to color TV.

To me I enjoy every moments with my children. Not only enjoyment, I couldn't have imagined how much I'm learning from them and I'm experiencing life so much fuller now. For one example, empathy, all the books about how to be empathetic can't make me a bit more empathetic. My children do. Another example being learning to listen, it is humbling to have your children asking you to listen them more. Ok, one last example is gaining inner peace of people not "understand" you. It happens in work place a lot that sometimes seemingly good idea goes unheard. There are lots of things I can share with my young. It is okay if they don't understand now. And I'm learning from them too so what I think I know might not matter 10 years down the road. Live the moment

The rational side of me tell me it is all my selfish gene in action. And I'm loving it.

Maybe - but I don't have to. I'm happy enough as it is to not have children. I don't need to loose a leg to enjoy going for a run either.

Yes I can. That's why I don't have kids.